We largely become what we pay attention to. We’re building our minds in each moment. We’re building habits and desires and worries and expectations and prejudices and insights. Mindfulness is just the ability to notice this process with clarity and notice what you pay attention to. Why not pay attention to those things that’s make you a better person. Why not free your attention from all the trivial things that are clamoring for it? 

- Sam Harris, PhD

When we think about

• Email
• Text
• Social Media
• News
• Content Engines (YouTube, Hulu)

These services are built, using billions of dollars of time and labor of developer, user experience and psychology experts...

To make us compulsive users.

It’s well understood that an uncertain reward produces more excitement than a predictable one¹ ².

It’s been measured in the brain of mice and humans.

And, obviously, this reward seeking behavior related to technology is a compulsion and sometimes an addiction…for nearly all of us.

As someone who has always worked on his mental and physical health, for better or worse, somewhat obsessively, my compulsions have become untenable. 

The feeling of desire, of not being able to control myself, results in a lot of shame. 

The feeling of finding comfort in random, algorithm-driven content feeds, and a loading screen of email, just feels weird.

Even though it IS momentarily comforting, it basically has replaced other self-soothing behaviors which I enjoyed as a child and adolescent, such as:

• reading
• playing sports 
• playing board games

And, on principle, I can’t rightly preach to my clients that they should control their eating, sleeping, exercise habits, while I can’t control my own digital habits.

So, here are some suggestions and experiments I’ve tried.

Reducing time spent in stimulus <> response mode for me looks like:

Getting Organized

• Using David Allen’s Getting Things Done, and a few other methods, has helped
• Using the Inbox Zero method, has helped
• Using Apple Notes for my ONLY repository of thoughts, articles, musings, etc. helps
• Using ONE journal for my daily thoughts, my task list, my weekly plan, helps
• Using Copilot (2 months free with my link) & previously Mint for organizing finances has helped. Reducing # of CCs, autopayments, etc

Blocking Apps

• One.sec is the best app blocker I’ve found.
• It makes you solve puzzles or take a deep breath and report your reason for opening the app. These two delaying mechanisms interrupt your reward seeking behavior.
• Imagine if, before  pulling the slot machine wheel, someone asked you to answer 3 questions in Spanish to gain access to it. 
• Other options include Freedom.to & Clearspace & Apple’s native app time

Tracking Screen Time

• Apple’s Screen Time Tracking feature has been helpful as a check each week,
• However, it isn’t particularly suited to promote behavioral change

Morning Routine

• I’m random but consistent with my checklists:
• I always do:
• Brush teeth before eating
• Wash face
• Cream + sunscreen (after outdoors, depending on time of sunrise)
• Water + electrolytes
• I usually do
• Get outside for 10min+ of sun, no sunglasses
• Stretch 5-10min
• At some point in the day, I nearly always
• Exercise 30-90 mins
• Meditate 10-15min
• Eat high protein, low ingredient meals

Meditating

• This has always been a hard one more me.
• And also the biggest leverage action I’ve taken this year.
• Many times tried, many times not consistent or failed.
• Using the Waking Up app for a daily 10-15min meditation + lesson in mindfulness theory has worked well, which I alternate with meditation described below:
• BTW - I think meditation can just be noticing what’s going on, it can be breathing and reflecting on life, it can be pretty basic.
• I’m no expert but I met an inspiring coach on NYE who told me that meditating has changed his clients’ lives and his own.
• He gave me a 4 part template for meditating:
• Gratitude
• feel energy flow through your body as you think of someone you’re grateful for
• Forgiveness
• imagine yourself falling into a cold pool of water. Do that repeatedly for 1-3 people you want to forgive as you think about them.
• What Went Wrong
• think of any situation which went sideways or badly yesterday. What was the core belief that came up?
• i.e., my boss called me out on a mistake. I reacted defensively.
• That’s my core belief of needing to be right or fear of being controlled
• Vision
• imagine and actually paint a mental picture and FEEL for yourself of the most amazing life for yourself in 4 categories
• Relationship
• Financial
• Work/Career/Business
• Adventure

Not Sharing

• I barely post on IG or other platforms except LinkedIn.  
• Quantitatively, they have not driven business for me.
• The last time they worked well was when I was a trainer and teaching park classes - that drove business.
• Questions worth asking yourself:
• What need am I satisfying by coming here?
• Can I get this elsewhere?
• What would I lose if I replaced this?

Unsubscribing

• I now follow only 25 people on IG. I used Phantombuster to export my list of previous follows in case I want to go back
• This was hard but transformative. IG use down to 5min/day. I do miss the network a bit.  
• See “having a girlfriend”
• I used Unroll.me to clean my inbox
• I use Gmail filters to funnel certain emails into an Optional folder, if I want to keep track of producers, newsletters,. Etc but not see it as a stimulus. 

Having a Girlfriend

• Being in a serious relationship has done many amazing things, but on this subject:
• Primary: less validation needed from external environment, hate to say it
• 1) made me spend my time more meaningfully, because I enjoy her company
• 2) simply taken up more of my time, leaving less for digital junk
• 3) made me not need to use social media as a way to get dates + show off to girls
• 4) made me not need to follow a bunch of randos 
• 5) calling my girlfriend out on excessive phone/computer use lol + and asking her to do the same kind of makes an accountability buddy
• 6) thinking of having kids makes me want to model good behavior for them

Blocking Days/Times

• This is newer and TBD
• Last year, I had 3 contract roles in marketing, 5-10 coaching clients and a podcast
• I would do all 5 things on all 5 days of the week
• I switched toward specific days for coaching, for podcasts, for contracts, and it got somewhat better
• Now, I am experimenting with “coaching only” days, and “logistics/operations/finance” only days, and “reading days”. Let’s see

Communication Rules

• This is very new but setting expectations with clients/friends/loved ones on response time, days to text, calls vs. texts, is what I’m trying

Safe Space Room

• Your bed is for only two things
• Charge your phone outside the room, unless you are a caretaker for someone who needs to call you
• In that case, I honestly recommend the Light Phone III or a flip phone for emergencies

Using Technology

• When I do use technology, which is daily for at least 5-10 hours depending on my computer work...
• I use it in an ergonomically ideal manner, or try my best.  Here is my Ideal Workspace Ergonomic Setup with product recs & links.

Thanks for reading and hope this was helpful to you.  Send it to a friend or loved one who can use this info!

For those interested in learning more about my high impact coaching, learn more HERE or apply for coaching.